We'll Dance
by Onyxlight
Summary: AU/AR Despite your discomfort I continued. Despite everything, I was going to finish. Warning: Heavy Angst/Dark, Yaoi


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters...a sad but true fact.

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**We'll Dance**

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I almost regret this…almost.

You told me I was cute. Do you even remember that? I was sitting in the campus food court, when you walked by and said, _"Hey cutie."_ When I looked around confused, then pointed to myself you said, _"Yeah I was talking to you,"_ then you winked at me and moved on.

"You don't remember that do you?"

You shook your head back and forth in the negative. I hadn't thought you would.

Days later, you called my name across the soccer field and waved at me as you lined up with all the rest of the jocks that are on your team. You acted as if you didn't care they all knew you were talking to me. For a moment, I didn't feel like such a goddamn outcast. As if I was one of those lucky people it was okay to socialize with.

You did nothing more than stare at me. You didn't even mumble.

The day of the season's biggest game, you came up to me and handed me something. When I looked down I didn't see just a ticket, that would have been fine but you also gave me a pass that would allow me to sit in the reserved section directly behind the team. Speechless I asked if you are sure and you nodded, then I asked you why you were giving this to me of all people. Your reply was, _"Hell you're always watching us practice, so I thought you would like it."_

"Any of this sounding familiar to you at all? Do you even care?"

You moved to speak but I held up a hand, stopping you in your pitiful efforts.

Pretty boy Miroku, your best friend might I add, threw his annual spring bash at his parents cabin out on the lake. I've been a student here for two and a half semesters and his parties were as hard to get invited to, as they were legendary. You came up to me as I was getting into my beat up little hatchback and asked me if I'd like to go. Thinking that you were joking I gave you a look and tried to shut my car door. You stopped the door, squatted down so we're eye-level and begged…BEGGED me to hear you out.

You told me that you were serious and you would have liked nothing more than for me to come as your guest. Curious and confused by your actions over the past week I flat out asked you why you were being so nice to me all of a sudden.

You tipped your head to the side, causing all of that flaxen hair to spill over your shoulder and you say, _"Have you ever thought it's because I like you?" _

"I'll tell you now, no I hadn't, at that point I had dared to dream that might be the reason but had I never once thought it true."

We arrived at that party and instead of abandoning me to fend for myself in a house full of people way out of my league; you stayed right by my side the entire time. You introduced me to some of your teammates and for the first time since I got to this, godforsaken university, people that belonged to the 'in crowd' shook my hand and didn't treat me like I had leprosy. You joked with me. Laughed with me, not at me. You even got my food and drinks throughout the night.

"Do you recall what happened when you took me home? Do you!?" I shouted and wide golden eyes just looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. I probably had, "You kissed me goodnight. Not on the cheek. Not a peck on the lips either. You pulled me close to you and kissed me like you gave a damn about me!"

I was panting and fear crept into your eyes… as well it should. Since you were already afraid, I figured it was time to make that feeling a bit worse.

I pulled out the hunting knife my father gave me for my 14th birthday when he still had hope I'd take up the sport. It was the sharpest thing I'd ever held, with its seven-inch blade smooth on one side and serrated on the other. I tilted it back and forth so it would catch what little light there was in the room. It flashed across your eyes and you flinched and dropped your head.

Despite your discomfort I continued. Despite everything, I was going to finish.

The following week you were everywhere I turned. Buying me lunch, sitting beside me in classes, waiting by my car…it was a dream come true for me. You took me out to dinner you even went to see a play with me.

"I trusted you. Did you know that? When I talked you listened…at least you seemed to."

You shifted in your seat and I snarled at you.

The next week is where I made the only mistake I can think of. I completely let my guard down and let you in. I told you about my hometown, and all about what it was like growing up being 'me.' You held me as I cried and when I calmed down you kissed my tears away. When you moved to take it, further I didn't even try to resist. I didn't want to. I wanted you to make love to me. I wanted to be loved.

"How stupid of me right? To think you, Mr. Inuyasha Watri, of all people would actually give a damn!" I shouted, as I jerked his head back by the same tresses I had run my fingers through lovingly mere days ago. I slid the blade under the cloth gag in his mouth and a thin line of crimson was left in its wake. I wasn't mindful of your oh so flawless skin. Shame on me.

Once the cloth fell to the floor, you spoke for the first time since you regained consciousness.

"Look Jakotsu this is not as bad as…"

"It's not? Oh well pardon me for being so fucking sensitive. For some reason you seducing me over the course of three weeks to win some goddamn bet with your team struck and ill cord with me!"

I yanked hard on that beautiful mane of hair and ever so slowly, with the tip of my knife I carved my initials on your left cheek. By the time, I was done with the third letter you were openly sobbing and pleading with me not to do this, not to go through with my painstakingly thought-out plan.

"You never did tell me how you liked living in a dark lonely place for days on end? I found this old mine shaft a year ago, how was your stay?"

You said nothing just looked at me with a mixture of sadness and fear.

Good.

That's what my existence had always been like, one long, tiring, endless journey of sadness and fear.

"Don't worry Inuyasha honey, I won't let you die alone," I said as I stepped behind him. I had bound each of his arms, palms up, to a dusty armchair. Ever so slowly and deeply, I slit both of his arms open from wrist to mid forearm.

I knew how to die this way.

I'd thought about doing it enough times I should've been an expert.

Panic truly rose in you once there's no longer any doubt about my intentions. Tears streamed down your face as you watched your own life's blood flow out of your injuries.

"It's…it's not too late to stop this Jakotsu, if you left for help now…"

"Oh but it was too late the moment I heard you bragging to your little friends about your first _fag_ score. It was too late the moment you decided I was going to be a part of your sick game. It was too late the moment you made me love you."

I slit my own wrists to the sound of you sobbing like the child you are. I watched you as you slowly lost too much blood to hold your head up and remain conscious. Just as you were on the brink, I called your name and when unfocused golden eyes looked at me, I blew you a kiss and said, "Good-bye lover, I'll see you in hell, wait for me and we'll dance together."


End file.
